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Nothing raises as many eyebrows as the subject of sex during pregnancy. Despite the old saying that medical and religious miracles aside, every pregnancy started with a sex act. Sex and sexuality are very different, and that even if you are not having sexual intercourse, your sexuality can still be expressed.
After the elation of finding out your wife's pregnant, you'll likely find yourself pondering whether everything you've always heard about sex and babies is true. Will you still be as turned on by your wife during and after pregnancy? Will sex during pregnancy make either of you too worried about hurting the baby to enjoy yourself? Will your wife be as sexually motivated as she was while you were trying to get pregnant? The only thing certain is that your sex life will change. The cold hard facts are that you will likely be having less sex from now on, a condition that extends beyond the birth of your new baby. Most of these questions remain unanswered in the minds of many husbands.
Your desires
In the first trimester, you might feel hornier than ever. You'll feel closer to your wife than ever before. You may feel a strange pride that people will know that you're responsible for the baby growing insider her. On the other hand, pregnancy may create some contradictions. You now will be having sex with a mom, which might seem less than sexy to you. More likely, however, is that your wife's increasingly full and curvy form will seem more erotic to you.
Her desires
Your wife's desires will go up and down and can vary from trimester to trimester. She may be less inhibited without birth control, more intimate with you due to your new responsibility, and more sexy because of her filled out shape. For your sake, we'll hope for this scenario. On the other hand, she may spend a lot of the first trimester vomiting. She may feel more maternal and less sexual, or she may just feel fat and unattractive.
For women, pregnancy often creates an increased need for physical affection -- a craving that may be greater than the desire for sexual satisfaction. Pregnancy is a wonderful time to explore aspects of making love such as cuddling, holding each other and discovering new positions and new ways of pleasuring.
Will sex hurt the baby?
One of the most common concerns of fathers to be is that sex will hurt the baby. Some men are afraid that they will bump into the baby when they have sex. By and large however this concern is unfounded. Everyone worries at least a little bit about sex hurting the baby. It's hard not to imagine pushing deep into the baby's temporary home with every thrust. Your baby is safe, however, within a cushioned amniotic fluid-filled sac. There is very little risk to your baby unless you're having very rough sex.
What you can do
As with most issues within a relationship, the best thing you can do is talk about your needs and desires. You may have to take the lead to try new positions and other options since traditional positions may become too painful or uncomfortable in the last months. Whatever makes your mate the most comfortable is your best chance at having a sex life through the third trimester.
There are many reasons why sex during pregnancy can be more enjoyable, even if your are doing it less. There is an increase in vaginal lubrication, engorgment of the genital area helps some people become orgasmic for the first time or multi-orgasmic, the lack of birth control, or if you have been trying for awhile, a return to sex as pleasure as opposed to procreational, and other reasons. On the other hand there are reasons why sex might not be as pleasurable: fear of hurting the baby, nausea, fatigue, awkwardness, etc.
Okay, so we know that there are wide variances in who is doing it and when, the big question is how? Creativity should be your keyword during pregnancy. Or more bluntly put, whatever works!
