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Sex drives in men and women

For every married couple, sex and daily sexual activity is very important. But as time passes by, the sex drive reduces. However, it's not always the same for both partners. In most of the cases it has been found that both sexes have different drives and desire for sex. Thus it becomes a problem for the couple to cope up with these sexual preferences. People often think why and what is the reason behind the difference for this difference of zest in both the sex?

First of all, you must know that testosterone, one of the hormones responsible for sex drive, is 20-40% more prevalent in men than women. Though it is not always the case, it is very common for men to desire sex more often than their wives. This gender difference often create problems in marriages, particularly when people blame each other for being different. Men think their wives are passionless and women think their husbands are sex maniacs.

When men and women have substantially different sex drives, something interesting happens. Most women need to feel close to their partners emotionally to desire sex. Women need to spend time with their partners, to communicate on a deep level and feel like they're team mates in regards to housework, kids and so on. All this has to be in place for most women to really desire their men.

Men, on the other hand, generally need to feel close to their partners physically before they invest a great deal of energy into their relationship. So she's waiting for him to be more intimate emotionally and he's waiting for her to be more tuned into him physically. The resentment that results in this waiting game is very huge. It's beyond belief.

That being said, it's really important for both the sexes to become more understanding of each other. This means that the partners need to try to imagine what it would be like to live in each other's shoes for a while. He probably walks around feeling that if you loved him more, you would be more sensitive to his needs. He undoubtedly feels hurt and rejected and might even question his sex appeal.

The wife probably feels that if he loved his wife more, he would be satisfied having sex once or twice a week. He would also be more responsive to the other issues concerning her in the marriage. The wife might walk around feeling bad that he never seems satisfied, that no matter what she does, he's always unhappy. This isn't a pleasant feeling when she loves her husband.

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But the case can be different. However, it is often found that many female partners have some trouble with their male partners in matters of sex drives. It is often said that very few wives are satisfied with their sexual life. As a matter of fact it has been found that the husbands work all day long and at the end of the day they return home tired but the wives who are staying back at home the whole day are full of energy. Thus by the time the couple go to bed, the husband is totally tired whereas the wife has full zest to go in for sexual intercourse. Herein the problem crops up. They feel that they are not being able to understand each other and they may land up with a quarrel. Here, the sex drives differ in both the sexes due to certain reasons.

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To conclude, it can be said that this problem has no solution unless you go for a counseling or the couple sit together and talk. Then this unique bond of love might solve all problems.

Read more about: debasmita chanda, sexual
Story first published: Wednesday, May 31, 2006, 11:16 [IST]

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